Remember to Forget

There is no bigger curse in the world than to have an inquisitive mind that also suffers from amnesia. Dr. Freud was blessed with this curse in abundance. In fact, he was so forgetful that he had had six children by the time he completed four years of his marriage. He had once resigned and joined a corporation on the same day and twice lost thousand dollars for betting on the repeat telecast of a soccer match. He also had the privilege of being unceremoniously thrown out of a posh restaurant for mistaking his driving licence for his credit card.

Professionally, Dr. Freud had a distinct reputation of inventing and discovering things that are already invented and discovered. In a career spanning 33 years he invented telephone more than four times. In this time, he also invented radio, motor engine, gramophone; found cure for common cough; discovered radium and created penicillin. But what brought Dr. Freud unparalleled unpopularity from his peers was his theory of relativity. In his seven-hundred-page dossier he explained how time is relative, he cited how time spent with neighbour’s wife seems to run faster than the time spent with ones own wife. The doctor was inconsolable when he was told that the theory belongs to a scientist called Einstein and barring the example rest all remains the same. He was so furious by the revelation that he decided to invent a bomb using atoms of the particles and kill Einstein.

Needless to say, Dr. Freud’s memory had become somewhat of a standing joke in the fraternity but that never affected him for obvious reasons.  

The same however, could not be said about Mrs. Freud. While she loved borrowing money from her husband, she could find no joy in being humiliated in public because of his poor memory. She took pride in being one of the finest WOMS in the country (Wives of Mad Scientists) and felt that her husband’s reputation was affecting her standing too. 

She resolved to find a way out of the problem. In modern society a problem is hardly big enough if it doesn’t take you to a shrink at least once, and so she decided to go through the ordeal of opening up to yet another doctor in her life.

Dr. DS Pear also called Dr. Despair was a psychologist of repute, known for his unconventional and radical approach towards solving simple problems. It is said that he once prescribed Viagra to an old man to rid him off his headache.

He had a penchant for predicting his patient’s problems in a glance. His clientele boasted of some of the most popular figures from Hollywood.  And since they were very popular they were never revealed to the public. But it is believed Angelina Jolie is a regular and adopting hungry babies from third world countries is a part of the course she is taking.

The day Mrs. Freud went to see him, Despair was in an extraordinary mood. He ordered Hakka Noodles from his favourite Chinese joint and had even cleaned his cabinet. He was ready to clean minds, he declared to his assistant. Mrs. Freud had an appointment at 3’o clock sharp, which was pushed to 5’o clock and then rescheduled at 3’o clock again; Despair never imagined his cabinet would get cleaned so fast.

Finally as was scheduled, Mrs Freud entered the shrink’s office. As she stepped inside, Dr Despair started with pre-empting the problem that she had. He went on like a Thai Tuk Tuk without a brake. One thing that made Despair peculiar was his strange aversion to articles as he spoke. It was almost as if he had cleaned up and the a’s and the the’s from the cabinet of his vocabulary:

Mrs Freud, right?

Here because of problem

Problem that’s deep in nervous system

Problem of love, right?

You love first love still

Can’t run

Can’t hide

Can’t escape his love

But you married and

Husband very good cook, right?

You leave him you also leave his chicken preparations

And Sunday dinner

Now you know not what to choose

First love or chicken 52

Right?

After hearing the acute observations Despair had made, Mrs Freud had only one thing to say:

I am here for my husband not for the buffet!

Despair didn't know how to react. For the first time he couldn't read a person’s mind. Yet each time he looked at Mrs Freud he felt he was right but he didn't dare to say that.

So he did the next best thing, he let her do the talking.

Mrs Freud explained how her husband had a terrible memory. She explained how he forgot to put on his fly before he left home. She explained how she worries for him more than ever. And she explained how the sitcoms on TV are not as much fun anymore. She explained how their marriage was suffering because of her husband’s amnesia.

Despair heard with patience and came up with a simple conclusion. The TV networks need to hire better content writers as that would automatically mean better programming.

Dr Despair however had one question for Mrs Freud:

On a scale of one to ten, Mrs Freud, how desperate are you to solving this memory problem of your husband?

Mrs Freud:

Eleven!

Dr Despair:

Memory like discounted clothes madam

Once gone

No returning

Mrs Freud was upset until she heard Dr Despair’s plan. His half eaten words sounded like Neruda to her as he began to explain:

You don’t mind something radical

Right?

Dr Despair was holding in his hand a potion that he called ‘Do Not Drink Ever’ (DNDE). He handed over the bottle to Mrs Freud and explained her the dosage. One spoon of DNDE before lunch and one after dinner and Mr Freud would recollect even what happened a day before he was born, Despair exclaimed.

Mrs Freud (rather worried):

Then doctor why is it called ‘Do Not Drink Ever’?

Is it safe?

Does it have any side effects?

Dr Despair:

No side effects

Just one side effect

Your husband will remember everything!

Mrs Freud came home with lightness in her heart and a plan on her mind. She decided to get Mr Freud to cook his favourite food for a change and then while he is doing the dishes she would ask him to have a gulp of a little DNDE, she thought.

And as she was devising her holy plan she also started wondering about all the simple pleasures that DNDE would bring with it. Simple joy of being wished Happy Birthday on Birthday, not having to worry about where they parked the car, no more salted tea and definitely no more invented inventions!

She almost started joyfully singing to the little bottle as she poured a spoonful of DNDE in her husband’s brandy. Then she poured another spoon just to be sure.

The next morning Mr Freud was a changed man. In fact, he seemed to have changed so much that he almost seemed normal. He could figure out his toothbrush without anyone’s assistance. He didn’t forget to put down the toilet seats. He remembered to wear his trousers and wore matching socks. But most surprisingly for Mrs Freud, didn't kiss the maid goodbye!

And before leaving for work he said something he never did in 28 years of marriage. He said:

Mrs Freud how bout’ Chicken 52 tonight?

Mrs Freud was on seventh heaven. Her cheeks had gone red with thrill. After years of marriage, she finally felt like a married woman. She was glad that she could now walk into the social circles and bitch about her unhappy married life with certainty.

That evening was a well though out and planned event, Mr and Mrs Freud were supposed to have a quiet dinner and tell each other how they felt about each other. Mr Freud was supposed to articulate and since Mrs Freud was a lady she had an option of being abstract. After the Chicken 52 they were supposed to have some wine, not lots, and then groove to music by Ray Charles.

But what happened that night was quite unexpected.

As Mr Freud came home it was visible there was something going on in his mind, something that was very unlike him. He seemed upset, very upset.

As planned, the dinner began at seven sharp. Mrs Freud was dressed in gown and Mr Freud showed up in his tuxedos. The dinner began with salad followed by Chicken 52 with both of them enjoying the dinner as was discussed. All of a sudden Mr Freud broke his silence and said in an almost profound tone:

Could you pass me the fork!

Mrs Freud didn't know how to react and simply passed the fork.

He continued:

Darling do you think I am a fool?

I mean...I have to be... isn't it?

All my life I have invented things already invented

I have been a joke amongst those I take seriously

I have spent time on things Ii won’t remember

Mrs Freud was shocked life was never supposed to be the topic of discussion at the dinner table. Doctor however continued and looked at her:

And all my life I have love one woman...one woman who never loved me!

Mrs Freud:

Honey are you talking about Mrs Robinson?

 Or the maid?

Mr Freud:

I am talking about you

Mrs Freud:

But what happened?

Mr Freud:

I remembered

Mrs Freud:

What?

Mr Freud:

I reached office today and was glad I could find my place without any assistance

I was glad I could remember everything

But soon the happiness turned into sadness like a withering flower

As my memory started returning me the unwanted gifts of the past

I remembered how I have been a fool

An unsuccessful scientist

A joke, a laughing stock

But I could come to terms with that you know

But then I saw your picture on my table and

I remembered

Mrs Freud:

Remembered what Mr Freud?

Mr Freud:

How you didn't want to marry me

How I was not the one you were meant to be

How someone else was supposed to be sitting across the table to you and having the wine that my lips sip now

Mrs Freud:

But...

Mr Freud:

Please do not try to console me

The only pity a man deserves is that of a company

And that I have with you tonight

Mrs Freud:

Is something bothering you honey?

Is there a problem?

Mr Freud:

Yes

There is a problem

You still love your first love

Don’t you?

You can’t escape from the dungeons of your past

And even if you did

I am not the knight in shining armour

Mrs Freud:

What makes you say that after all these years?

Mr Freud:

You see Mrs Freud when one gets his memory after years

One remembers many things

And in so many ways one is back to the time from which he should have moved on long before

Mrs Freud:

And what is that time Mr Freud?

Mr Freud:

It is that time when you looked me in the eyes and lied for the first time

Mrs Freud:

The first time...

Mr Freud:

You said I love you

Mrs Freud was puzzled; she was not able to fathom the reality of the moment. She was caught unawares in the middle of a dream that she can’t wake herself from. And of course she doesn't like the dream, not anymore.

Mrs Freud:

But what did I do...

Mr Freud continued:

You flinched...

The quiet dinner ended abruptly like a war. Mr Freud surrendered to a long walk. Mrs Freud surrendered to the night. 

The following morning, Mrs Freud took a knife out of her kitchen cabinet and booked an appointment with Dr Despair at 3’o clock sharp.

Right on time, she reached straight to the doctor’s cabin.

Dr Despair was not at all surprised to see the angry Mrs Freud.

Dr Despair:

I wait for you 

You late

I thought you come before

Mrs Freud:

You scoundrel!

You pig!

What did you give my husband?

Our marriage is on the verge of ending

Dr Despair:

I give nothing

You give him

Mrs Freud:

I gave him what you asked me to give him

You said it would help

Dr Despair:

No, no Mrs Freud

I said he would remember!

Mrs Freud:

But you never told me it would lead to all of this!

Dr Despair:

Everything lead to anything Mrs Freud

And sometimes everything leads to nothing

Mrs Freud:

I don’t understand

Dr Despair:

Of course you don’t

No one does

But just because we don’t understand something doesn't mean we don’t suffer it

In fact, we often suffer what we don’t understand

Mrs Freud:

Like?

Dr Despair:

Like marriage!

Mrs Freud:

So what should I do now?

Dr Despair:

A humorous story turn into serious

When you don’t take it with seriousness that humorous story deserve

He continued:

You see Mrs Freud it was never your husband

Your marriage was suffering

Not because he won’t remember

It suffered because you couldn't forget

Always remember to forget Mrs Freud

There is no potion for that!